So, that whole Olympics thing is behind us and now its time to turn back to what’s important, the New Television Season which technically gets underway tonight! Yes, its still August but what are you going to do? NBC needs all the help it can get!
1. TV Tonight! You have wall to wall Season (and in some case, series) Premieres tonight from TNT’s Major Crimes (the spinoff to The Closer, which ends tonight) to the newest reality shows, Stars Earn Stripes (on NBC) and Hotel Hell (on Fox).
- NBC premieres its newest game show, Stars Earn Stripes, from 8-10 (see the show description below) and the premiere of Grimm (in its new pimped out time slot) at 10!
- Fox premieres Gordon Ramsay’s newest reality show project, Hotel Hell, tonight at 8 (see the show description below) and new Hell’s Kitchen at 9.
- ABC has a new Bachelor Pad at 8 and Glass House at 10.
- The CW has a new Remodeled at 9 (are they burning this show off, finally?)
- On cable, TNT ends the long running The Closer at 9 and premieres the new spinoff, Major Crimes (see the show description below) at 10; Shark Week continues on Discovery with Air Jaws Apocalypse: Reloaded at 8, Sharkzilla at 9 and a Mythbusters Jawsome Shark Special at 10; ESPN has NFL Preseason Football (Dallas Cowboys at Oakland Raiders) from 8-11; a new season of Intervention begins on A&E with new episodes at 9 and 10; TLC premieres new shows, United Bates of America with episodes at 9 and 9:30 and Big Tiny at 10 and 10-:30, SyFy has new Warehouse 13 at 9 (Pete and Claudia reunite with Hugo to track down a deadly artifact at his nephew’s prep school) and Alphas at 10; E! has a new Opening Act at 9 (with LMFAO); and MTV has the season finale of Teen Wolf at 10.
2. New Show Descriptions. During the duration of the Fall Season, we will devote Item 2 to a description of the news shows premiereing on that day to better equip your decision making process. Tonight’s entries include Stars Earn Stripes, Hotel Hell, Major Crimes, Untied Bates of America and Big Tiny.
- Stars Earn Stripes. Premise: A military inspired celebrity gameshow, (B, C and D-List) Celebrities Compete in military inspired challenges, for charity! From the mind of Dick Wolf (Law & Order), Mark Burnett (Survivor) and David Hurwitz (Fear Factor), the competing celebrities are Dean Cain, Dolvett Quince, Eve Torres, Laila Ali, Nick Lachey, Picabo Street, Terry Crews, and Todd Palin and is hosted by Samantha Harris (Dancing with the Stars) and General Wesley Clark (Ret.). On My DVR’s take: this show will be fun to watch but not “must see” by any stretch of the imagination. The potential of getting to see Dean Cain cry or Eve Torres in skimpy sportswear will be too much to keep us away forever but we don’t anticipate watching week in and week out. The use of real military personnel is a cool angle and supports every little boy’s fantasy of playing soldier.
From NBC, Stars Earn Stripes “is an action-packed competition show that pays homage to the men and women who serve in the U.S. Armed Forces and our first-responder services. The star-studded cast includes four-time undefeated world boxing champion Laila Ali, actor Dean Cain (“Out of Time,” Five Days of War”), actor and former National Football League player Terry Crews (“The Expendables 2,” “The Newsroom”), multi-platinum recording artist, actor, producer and television personality Nick Lachey (NBC’s “The Sing-Off”), Alaska businessman and four-time Iron Dog snowmobile race champion Todd Palin, NBC’s “The Biggest Loser” trainer Dolvett Quince, Olympic gold medalist Picabo Street, and WWE diva, Eve Torres.
“In this fast-paced competition, the eight celebrities will gather at a remote training facility where they will be challenged to execute complicated missions inspired by real military exercises. From helicopter drops into water to long-range weapons fire, the contestants will be tested physically, mentally and emotionally. Each will be paired with a special operative from a military branch or one of our first-responder forces, including former U.S. Army Delta Force and Green Berets, U.S. Navy SEALS, U.S. Marines and police officers, who train alongside their partners and compete in the missions with them. Each of the teams is competing for a cash prize on behalf of a military, veterans or first-responder charity.”
- Hotel Hell. Premise: Gordon Ramsay coming and bitching out useless hotel owners. its Kitchen Nightmares in a Hotel. On My DVR’s take: We’ll skip this, not because we don’t LOVE Ramsay botching out people, because, really, no one does it better. No.One. But, we’re a little Gordon’d out with this being the FOURTH Ramsay show from Fox, all of which air within the same time period and revolve around one thing, Gordon Ramsay’s personality. We’re tired … you fucking donkeh. From Fox:
“Hotel Hell features Gordon Ramsay on a quest to fix horrid hotels, awful inns and just plain bad bed and breakfasts.
After more than a decade of running restaurants in some of the world’s top hotels, Ramsay knows firsthand the crucial importance of surpassing guests’ highest expectations. In Hotel Hell, Ramsay will endure hotels at their worst – from filthy bedrooms and mold-ridden bathrooms to dreadful room service and incompetent staff – all so unsuspecting guests don’t have to.
After he has uncovered all the dirty secrets, Ramsay will put the hotel owners and employees to work as he attempts to turn around these failing establishments. With reputations on the line, one thing is certain: if they can’t meet Ramsay’s high standards, they will never check out of Hotel Hell.
- Major Crimes. Premise: The spinoff to the much loved (and now ended), The Closer. Mary McDonnell (Battlestar Galactica) reprises her The Closer role as, now in charge , Captain Sharon Raydor and puts a fairly typical procedural into action. On My DVR’s take: We didn’t watch The Closer; we won’t be watching Major Crimes but we do LOVE Mary McDonnell. From TNT (They KNOW Drama):
“The detectives in the Los Angeles Police Department’s Major Crimes division are still reeling from the departure of Brenda Leigh Johnson and the realization that Captain Raydor is now in charge. Unlike their previous chief, Raydor is determined to lead the department with a more team-oriented approach, sharing the credit with the people with whom she works. Raydor’s hardest job, however, will be gaining the full trust and confidence of her detectives, who aren’t quick to forget her long history of internal investigations targeting them and their previous boss. Especially troublesome is Provenza, who has a difficult time taking orders from someone he doesn’t think knows as much as he does.”
- Untied Bates of America. Premise: (from TLC) “TLC’s United Bates of America follows the Bates family as they manage everyday life in the hills of Tennessee. With 10 girls and 9 boys total, things are always interesting for Gil and Kelly Jo Bates!” On My DVR’s take: I, just can’t with this show and the 1000 kids and I am over this phenomenon, please make it stop.
- Big Tiny. Premise: (From TLC) “Primordial dwarves Bri and Brad Jordan are the world’s shortest living siblings. Tune in for a new series about their extraordinary life.” On My DVR’s take: I, just can’t with this show and the exploitation of the primordial twins and I am over TLC’s side show obsession, please make it stop.